domestic abuse, kidnapping, rape, sexual abuse, beaten broken hope self worth love nursing school joy thriving survival tips Becky Erkkila podcast


Due to today’s content you will want to be mindful of little ears.  Becky Urkuhluh shares of being a beaten women both emotionally and physically who escaped with her life after she was kidnapped, raped and nearly killed by her own husband and the journey of healing that she feels compelled to share.  Becky tells of becoming broken and lost from her first marriage after enduring verbal and sexual abuse.  Being divorced with 4 children she was financially unable to take care of her family and felt like no one would want her so she needed to take whoever came along who was willing to take her which very soon was the man who would become her second husband despite many red flags.  His controlling and abusive nature escalated from threatening looks and throwing things to choking her nearly to the point of passing out to having him pull a loaded gun on himself and then on her.  Becky shares the rationalization she convinced herself of that it was fine that he has hurting her as long as it wasn’t her children.  She tells of beginning to see her worth and ability to provide for her family as she started taking classes for nursing school and excelling.  She tells of a series of events that led to the miracle of him leaving and how she finally felt hope for the future as she and her children moved into her parents’ home and got a restraining order.  Becky recounts the day after class that her husband and a 15 year old boy kidnapped her from the college parking lot.  She tells of pleading with the boy to let her go after being beaten and raped by her husband in the van and later at a hotel.  She tells of her face being taped and not being able to breath and going to a happy place in her mind after begging God to let her die.  She recounts being rescued by the police and the fog of denial and trauma she experienced in the months and years ahead.  She tells of her journey to healing and the words of a counselor that changed her life to help her chose everyday to get up and live and do her best.  She shares why she is sharing her story instead of staying quiet in her new town.  And her strong desire to help everyone know that you can thrive in hard times, you can find joy and happiness because that it is a choice you have the power to make.  She shares more about the tools and resources to hope you can find on her website Thriving Survivor Tips and new book My Journey to Hope.  Listen and be inspired to face the hard things in your life choosing happiness, by choosing what you are going to focus on.

Want to know if this episode it for you?  This episode is perfect for someone who wants to feel there is hope after experiencing something so horrific or difficult and how that is possible.  It is perfect for someone who does not feel worth in their relationships and may even be experiencing abuse.  It is perfect for someone wanting to understand the mindset of a loved one who stays in an abusive relationship.  It is perfect for anyone who has experienced hardship in their life.

What is this episode about?   In this episode you will learn about:

  • how Becky grew up oldest girl of 10 children with lots of responsibilities
  • how after high school she had a great desire to get married and got married at 19 despite concerns from parents and her knowing it would be a hard road
  • her first husband was verbally abusive and later sexually abusive and it broke her down and she had lost who she was
  • why Becky can understand why women go from one broken marriage to the other
  • how she thought “who would want me?”, “who would want someone with 4 kids?”, “so I guess I should just take whoever comes along and is willing to take me”
  • how she was financially unable to take care of my family and felt like getting married was her only option and why she married her second husband despite red flags
  • husband at first showed evidence of controlling through looks, threatening to hit her and throwing things
  • the escalation to physical abuse but how she rationalized it because he was not ‘hurting’ the kids, just her and how she only saw what she wanted to see
  • what she would have said to herself if she could go back
  • how financial aspect was breaking point – husband kept getting fired over and over and it was always my fault- tired of not being able to provide for the kids
  • why she decided to do pre-reqs for nursing program and how that saved her and was a turning point in her life
  • why the abuse escalated when she was doing well in school and what he did to regain control of her
  • how he had choked her to point of nearly passing out and had cocked a gun and pointed it to his head then turned it on her
  • what happened when he left to go take a test and why he eventually decided to leave the house for awhile
  • how Becky began to feel hope for a brighter future
  • the day her husband one day and a 15 year old kidnapped her after class from the college parking lot
  • how she was beaten and raped in the back of the van and later at a hotel
  • how Becky begged the 15 year old to let her go
  • how her face was taped up and she couldn’t breath and begged God to let her die
  • went to another place in her mind – bright & happy with lots of people & activity – don’t know how long she was there
  • how the police rescued her from the report of a woman who witnessed the kidnapping
  • how she got through one day at a time through the words of a rape counselor
  • beginning to see and recognize her worth and feeling joy from accomplishing a goal of school to provide for her family
  • why she decided to not hide in her new town but what compels her to share her story
  • thriving by choosing what you are going to look at, what you are going to focus on
  • her new book “My Journey of Hope” with more details of the steps she took to find hope in her life

Show Notes:

Becky will be giving away 2 audio recordings and 2 of her new books “My Journey to Hope” – check out my Instagram @lifebeatsproject for more details

Becky’s YouTube Channel “Thriving Survivor Tips”

Becky’s website Thriving Survivor Tips

Email Becky at [email protected]

Becky’s book “My Journey of Hope”

Becky’s Audio Recordings: “Thriving Survivor Vol. 1”

Fisk Photography

Christian Fisk’s Instagram account for Fisk Photography

Movers + Doers

Legacy Tale’s Family Storytelling Retreat – buy tickets here


Photos donated to Becky from Christian Fisk of Fisk Photography

thriving survivor tips podcast Becky Erkkila domestic violence abuse kidnapping rape hope worth