grief loss widow drunk driving cycling cyclist young children silver lining lifeboats project podcast


Stacy Harker bravely opens up about her life and shares her heartache and comfort.  When you hear her story, it may seem familiar to you, because you may have read about it or even participated in the GoFundMe campaign that circulated to support Stacy and her three young boys after her husband was killed by a drunk driver while he rode is bike to work.   Today we will laugh and rejoice as Stacy shares the way her beloved husband Matt filled her world with adventure and love, from salsa dancing the first time they met to proposing to her on a radio station.  She shares about his love for cycling and about the special road ID bracelet that she bought him for Father’s Day and how her son now wears it every day.  Stacy tenderly recounts the events of the morning of the accident and how she first saw the effects of it on Facebook.  She shares the surreal feeling of the next two days and how bringing her oldest son into say goodbye to his dad was the single hardest moment as a mother.  Stacy tells of the letter she received from the drunk driver and how it felt to address him in court in his sentence hearing knowing that his actions were the reason her husband was gone.  Stacy talks about the silver linings that have come from this all and how staying in bed to grieve was never an option, as she made decisions knowing that Matt would want her an the boys to live the best life possible with or without him.  She shares what hiking a mountain at a widow support group retreat taught her and what she would say to someone who is going through this grieving process and to those who are not.  Come listen with a set of tissues and a grateful heart.

Want to know if this episode it for you?  This episode is perfect for someone who has lost a spouse or a loved one, who has loved deeply and now finds themselves alone.  It is perfect for someone who is the victim of the choices of others’ actions, such as a drunk driver.  It is also for those who are ready to direct their grief toward living in a way that would honor who they have lost.  It also for a powerful reminder for those who have not suffered a loss, to treasure the moments they have with their loved one and have the hard conversations to prepare for life should one or both of you be gone.

What is this episode about?   In this episode you will learn about:

  • how Stacy and Matt met and what she loved about him from the start
  • Matt’s spontaneous efforts
  • what life was like before kids and in the early years of marriage
  • why the Harkers moved to Wyoming
  • Matt’s love of cycling and the special road ID bracelet that Stacy gave him as a Father’s Day present
  • the events of the day in which Matt was hit by a drunk driver on this way to work
  • how Stacy first saw photos of the accident
  • how surreal everything felt including riding on a plane with Matt as he was transported to Denver
  • the hardest thing Stacy has had to do as a mother
  • what she learned about the driver after the accident
  • the process of his arrest and the letter he wrote her
  • what she has seen in her children since the loss of their dad
  • the silver linings she has seen in their lives
  • how she has gotten through the hard days
  • the role therapy and support groups have played
  • the best thing Stacy says you can do for yourself during grief
  • how climbing a mountain at a widow support retreat gave her strength
  • her advise to those who have not lost a spouse or loved one

Show Notes:

Stacy’s Instagram feed

Article ‘In-Depth” with Stacy Harker

Ashmae’s book pre-order and description

Ashmae’s book tour dates:

November 1st: Book Release, 6:30-8:30 p.m., The Startup Building (560 South 100 West Provo, Utah)
November 2nd 3 p.m.,  Brigham Young University
November 3rd:  7 p.m., Panel Discussion, Writ and Vision in Provo, Ut
November 4th:  11:30-12:30 Benchmark Books, 7-9 p.m., Evan’s Home in SLC, Utah
November 5th: 7-9 p.m., McBaine Home, SLC, Ut
November 9th: 7-9 p.m., Rusty and Marguerite Hancock Home
November 11-12: Dallas, Texas
January 20-21: Phoenix, Arizona
Come see me there this Saturday Nov 5th and get your photo taken for our #lifebeatsforme campaign